Is it (the Right) Time?

A woman comes to a point in her life when she feels a little broody. When you and your husband have frolicked and waltz through the ‘honeymoon stage’ of your marriage, the inevitable thing that will happen next is to decide if it is the time to start a family. But how sure can you get when your decision is bringing another life into this planet? What are the aspects you need to consider? Perhaps the three vital facets that you need to dissect are your emotional, physical and financial state as an independent individual.

Examining yourself to know if you’re ready for a pregnancy

• Physical – It is no rocket science. A healthy baby comes from a healthy pregnancy. When you and your husband finally agree to have a baby, the next person you need to see is an obstetrician and gynaecologist. Be vocal of your concerns and make your medical history known (even that of your family’s). Open up on the lifestyle you lead and just bear all that you deem would be vital for your pregnancy plans. And, of course, this means that you have to heed her advices – no matter how tempting it is to cheat once in a while. You have to accept that changes have to be made such as getting more rest than usual, putting exercise in your routine, eating healthy foods that promote fertility and quitting vices if any.
• Financial – The regular pre-natal check-ups, the delivery (more so when it is through c-section), the post-natal trips to the doctor… the nappies, the milk, the clothes, the vaccines… And the list goes on and on and on! If you and your hubby aren’t ready for this, maybe it’s time to sit down and actually plan how to go about money matters once the baby arrives. This is another reason why some relationships fail. According to one financial adviser, it is ideal for husbands and wives to have their finances covered even before they start a family. Realistically, though, it is quite a tough feat! Conceivably, the most ideal setting is that you are able to give undivided attention to your newborn in contrast to having to constantly worry about the monetary requirements.
• Emotional – Have you heard about couples having a rather smooth marriage up until they have their firstborn? One of the most common reasons for which is the tendency to jump into parenthood with neither of the twosome preparing emotionally. Ask yourself, “Am I ready to carry out my responsibility as a wife and as a mother – without having to compromise either of the two?” and “Is my husband in such an emotional state that he will be able to understand my moods once hormones kick in starting with my pregnancy?” And the hormonal changes during those nine months will just be the beginning. Post-natal depression might creep in, then the anxiety and strenuous task of raising your child. Will you be able to get your emotions intact?

Examining yourself and your husband before getting on to parenthood can save you the stress and the possible fallout. However, the choice is entirely up to the two of you. It is best to remember that a baby is not just a responsibility – he or she is a great blessing. And he or she deserves only the best from mummy and daddy…